Vexed lyrical

After laying my soul bare last week, you will be glad to know that I am over my little blip and back into the land of sand with gusto. What I would like to say is a huge thank you to everyone that took the time to comment and let me know that I was not alone in experiencing this expat black cloud, we all get it and have the exact same challenges wherever we are. To my desert girls, you were awesome, you rallied around me, went out of your way to make sure I didn’t spend too much time alone and friends back home whose texts meant so much. Last but not least to my wonderful, ever supportive Hubby, who was his usual understanding, sympathetic self, patiently holding my hand till I was through the other side, we are in this together every step of the way.

So after a bit of a downer and somewhat depressing post last week, I thought I would return with somewhat of a rant! I know, at this stage you are probably thinking what is going on with this girl, does she not have one ounce of emotional stability right now?! Before you go carting me off, I can assure that I am very happy and still love this desert life but there were a couple of days, where all me and my girls could do was scream in frustration. We love it but at the same time aggghhhh! I am sure there are moments where expats unite around the world, as we experience those “special” moments, when there is simply only one reaction and we simultaneously cry ……….FFS!

This isn’t going to be a massive expat rant about everything I hate about living abroad, actually the opposite. Whilst these little things drive you mad at times, it actually gets to the point where we are laughing at these nuances that will only happen whilst we are Kuwait bound. They aren’t so bad, that you would pack your bags, but they are those, roll the eyes, mutter under your breath, grit the teeth, smile and nod moments, that I (in the words of Take That) will never forget. It’s just every now and again they drive you absolutely bonkers!

Beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah!

Now whilst I love the Beatles, the incessant beeping of horns in this place drives me to distraction. Case in point, Hubby and I were walking back from a morning at the marina, walking in Kuwait doesn’t happen very often, so we take it upon ourselves to enjoy this little ritual whilst we can. Now you tell me, when someone is walking down the road it is obvious they are walking, right? Well apparently to taxi drivers you are simply doing it until they come along. They will be driving on the opposite side of the road, driving away from the direction you are walking and honk at you incessantly. This particular day, after the guy got no reaction from us, he U turned and drove towards us, still honking. He then proceeded to tailgate us for the next 10 yards, STILL HONKING. If I wanted a bloody taxi, I would be in a taxi and I would have waved you over, at what point do you think driving along side us, beeping your F-ing horn is going to make me want to get in your cab!? We sent him on his way and both took a deep breath, muttering to each other……FFS

Tale as old as time…

(well maybe not as old as time but 3 days is long enough)

I may be 36 but I am a Disney geek, you are never too old to sit and watch The Little Mermaid, sing Let It Go at the top of your lungs whilst hoovering and still have that teenage crush on Aladdin. So you can imagine I was extremely excited by the latest live action offering Beauty and The Beast and Hubby had picked up on the 101 hints and booked tickets for the opening day. It was beautiful and everything I wanted it to be but I was a little shocked that we can still manage to censor Disney.  The epic ending, where we all know true loves kiss breaks the spell, never happened and by cutting is so brutally did kill the magic of the films final moments, but whilst this peeved me a little I came out skipping and dancing into the mall, looking for “adventure in the great wide somewhere” happy as a Disney lark assisting Snow White.

Then came the news that days later the movie had been pulled from cinemas all together, due to content concerns. I understand there are religious beliefs at play here, but this is Disney. Its the purest form of entertainment you can get and I just feel for all the children (and adults) that have missed out on this movie. When I heard that the daughter of one of Hubby’s colleagues, had got her Belle dress already hanging up a week ahead of time, so she could wear it to the cinema, by heart broke and I sadly muttered…..FFS.

Run baby run

Most of my avid social media followers, will know that Tuesday has been renamed Brunch-day. Every week the desert girls hit the brunch trail and look forward to copious amounts of coffee and eggs. There is a contingent of us that leave from the gym (making us less guilty about the copious amounts of coffee and eggs) and we car pool to the weekly location. So this particular week, we are heading to the lovely Cafe Coco at The Avenues, this being a little further than we would normally venture I set the time to meet an hour later than normal, leaving more than ample time, even in Kuwait traffic. Off we go….then quite literally as we pull out of the gym carpark, we are stopped by a policeman. No reason. Just told to wait before pulling onto one of the busiest roads to the city. We look to our left and see that cars already on route had also been halted mid journey, Hmmmmmm

Then out of nowhere came a stream of what had to be around 150 kids, who clambered off buses and congregated in the middle of the road! Then they decided to have a run! In the middle of the morning, in the middle of the road?? For Jersey folk this would be like closing Victoria Avenue, during rush hour, mid commute. We could not go nowhere, all we could do was watch some run, some stroll like they didn’t have a care in the world, whilst we knew our eggs and friends were waiting for us. What I didn’t get, is that to our right there was a pedestrianized track, that runs in exact parallel to the road and guess what……HAS NO CARS! why on earth they couldn’t have run on that, god only knows, so 45 minutes later we were finally on route to breakfast, whilst our driver battled with more traffic and the need to pee. We all shouted in unison FFS!

Girls on film, 

Girls on film

Whilst I’m sure this isn’t just endemic of here, but there is a time and a place for a selfie people and whilst I’m walking directly behind you is not one of them! I can’t tell you how many times I’ll be walking around the mall, minding my own business and will quite literally have to swerve to save myself from either taking someone out or face planting myself to the floor. Apparently there is a need to selfie everything here and whilst they snap their perfect shot, they have no idea of the carnage that is behind them. I nearly plowed a woman over with my supermarket trolley, as I wheeled around in my efficient I know what I’m getting, just get me in and out of here as quickly as possible mode. I was on a mission to get my list checked off, she was on a mission to snap a selfie with a tray of sushi!? Seriously, you are in the Sultan Center love, not Nobu put the phone down and step away from the nori……..FFS!

Never forget where you’ve come here from
Never pretend that it’s all real

I can laugh about these things now but boy they do drive me nuts. Being able to laugh about them means they are yet to wear me down or drive me to a plane out of here, so it isn’t as bad as it seems. I often reminisce fondly about my change being literally thrown at me in a Prague supermarket or why it was my fault I didn’t have the EXACT money to purchase something…..oh those glorious days. I am sure there are many “special” moments to come, as I continue on my desert adventures and I will treasure them along with all the other great memories we are building, `cause you know what? FFS can also mean funny frustrations savored

……..who am I kidding FFS!


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