50 grains of sand

Living in Kuwait for 2 years at times still feels like only 5 minutes, but it occurred to me over a welcome back Friday brunch with friends, that we are firmly fixed in our expat lives. It’s become second nature and life in Kuwait no longer has the novelty factor. We are settled into our desert existence and are at the point where endearing jokes can be made about all things Kuwait, with as much fondness as our lives back home.

So in a more upbeat post, compared to last weeks rant, I started looking at the funny side to living in the desert.

50 signs you have settled into life in Kuwait

1. You have sun cream in EVERY factor
2. You are still sunbathing in November
3. You can never have too many flip-flops
4. You know there is no such thing as a cold shower; the hot tap is hot and the cold tap is hot!
5. You now know that a sand storm is not the Apocalypse
6. You miss walking places, so for the 2 weeks you can actually walk anywhere, you walk, walk, walk!
7. You think below 40 degrees is no longer hot
8. You get dirty when it rains, not wet
9. You get excited by the 20 seconds of rain
10. You see umbrellas as sun protection not rain cover
    

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11. You now ignore any incessant taxi drivers beeping at you, that you also ignore your friends trying to get your attention.
12. You no longer grip the back seat of the taxi and pray you arrive in one piece
13. You are no longer surprised by a missing pavement
14. You accept that road markings are just a guide and mean nothing
15. You expect the phone call from the take away delivery man, who is lost. Even though you have given the exact address and directions, they still can’t find you, probably because there are no street signs or names??
16. You aren’t sure if GPS actually works here. When in doubt U-turn!
17. You know that when someone states something will be fixed in 2 days, it will be 2 weeks.
18. You start saying “Inshallah” because lets face it, it’s like the Spanish mañana, when it comes to step 17!
19. You know consistent WiFi is a luxury not a certainty
20. Your best friend is your VPN, as no one can live without Bake Off and Strictly!
    

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21. Instagram is your new Kuwait Google; if it’s not on Insta its not worth your time.
22. You are part of 20 Whatsapp groups. You learn Expat ladies love a whatsapp group for EVERYTHING.
23. You love Face Time. How small the distance between you and loved ones now feels.
24. You hate Face Time; after you have stayed at home all day to Face Time and they forgot!
25. You get excited when a new Waitrose line gets added at the Sultan Centre
26. Your nearest Starbucks becomes your local “pub”
27. You anticipate Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes. OK it still maybe 35 degrees but at least you now know its autumn.
28. You eat in Cheesecake Factory way too often.
29. You now understand what people meant by the Kuwaiti Kilos. You can no longer do up your jeans and you’ve ditched the lace knickers for your big M&S comfies!
30. You join a gym because of step 29!
31. You no longer stop to take photos of the Ferrari, Lambo and Wraith parked outside the gym. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all
    

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32. You monitor FlyDubai weekly for deals
33. You frequently fly to Dubai, Oman or Bahrain for a G&T
34. You know no one will visit you in Kuwait, but they will happily meet you in Dubai
35. You know you will be alone in Kuwait , for all of July and August unless you escape
36. You book flights home 6 months in advance, have a countdown on your phone and Facebook about it weekly.
37. You live on a diet of Gin, Prosecco and pork when back home.
38. You never warm up the whole time you are home.
39. You then moan that the trip home was too long!
40. You enjoy the well-thumbed, uncensored OK magazine that has gone round all your friends, after someone has been back to the UK.
    

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41. You get excited by joining a Book Club
42. You spend 5 hours in The Avenues and still run out of time.
43. You then realise everything has to be read on Kindle, as those 5 hours found no book shop.
44. You get used to being stalked by sales assistants upon entry to any shop
45. You have another birthday with no cards.
    1. You can’t buy them unless you spend a tenner on a 1980’s  special in Halkmark
    2. you can’t get post
46. You go to the cinema in hat, scarf and coat!
47. You know half the cinema will turn up at least 30 minutes into the film
48. and then answer their phones
49. You no longer see all this stuff as frustrating
50. You start a blog about your quirky desert life 

Just like the individual grains of sand that make up a desert, each of these things makes my life here and without them it would not be this unique experience. I will live no where like this again, all these little oddities and random goings on, will make it one to remember.

 I’ve gone international, because even the simple tasks become an adventure 

Time Travel Blonde