I don’t know how this has happened, but I’m entering my final week in Jersey. The six weeks seemed like an optimum time to get some quality time with the family and catch up with friends, but now I’m in panic mode as I quickly do a mental note to see if there is anyone I’ve missed (at this point I’m really hoping I haven’t and they aren’t reading this thinking, Oi what about me!?).
I have had a wonderful time during this trip and feel like this has been a good session of mixing some chill time with lots of eating, drinking and catch ups. Seeing the family has been so special, as the last time we were together was an emotional and tragic time, so for us to be all together all eagerly anticipating the new arrival to our brood has been everything. I have been keeping up to date, via every social media outlet, with my fellow desert gals and they too seem to be having a great time, if not busy, touring round their home countries and reconnecting.
Whilst I have loved every moment of this trip, it does come with mixed emotions. As I have previously mentioned the expat escape comes with the downside of being away from my Hubby for a significant time period. We started this holiday together and then I had to wave goodbye at the airport, as he does his own family catch ups before back to the desert grind stone. Caution dear reader as you are now entering a soppy moment….
Don’t get me wrong we both cope with being away from each other, however we are definitely a couple that does better together than apart. The first 3 weeks is fine, we are both running around doing our own thing and wrapped up in the family reunions but as we enter week 4 it hits us that the other person is missing and we don’t do so well. I certainly have moments of separation anxiety, where you just want a cuddle and be back in your life together. It’s tough and I do really struggle with the guilt of these feelings. Whilst I’m really missing Hubby and can’t wait to see him and get back to my other home, I’m still in Jersey and don’t want to get too down in the dumps and let my family see that there is part of me that is already looking forward to leaving, because I’m not but at the same time I am.
I’m now entering expat limbo
the period of ups and downs of wanting to leave but wanting to stay.
I can not wait to get back in the routine, and quite frankly my jeans are also looking forward to me being back in the gym and drying out! However I’m already thinking about the hard moment of saying goodbye to loved ones this end. I just keep in the back on my head that I will be back within 16 weeks, knowing there will be a new baby and the Christmas build up to look forward to. Yet I don’t want Hubby to think that the moment I’m back in our Kuwait life, I’m already counting down to leaving. Aggghhhh its a total emotional head mash and I’m in the middle of balancing it all, trying to keep sane
trying not to lose my shit whilst watching Long Lost Family
and at the moment gin is helping.
I’m trying to stay conscious of these feelings and own them, accepting that it’s ok to feel like this and I anticipate that I will probably find things a little hard when I get back, readjusting and waiting from everyone else to return from their own summer escapes. I know that having the support of Hubby and knowing that we are back in this together will keep me going and we have a wonderful 10 day Arabian adventure to look forward to, just weeks after entering my 36th year (don’t get me started on that, I liked being 30 something now heading into late thirties doesn’t have the same ring).
Everything about my expat life is wonderful, the ability to have six weeks on my little isle is amazing and I will never not appreciate that this is not something everyone can do. Whilst I don’t relish the thought of the long journey back, I am looking forward to getting back to Kuwait, to my friends, to the sun and to my love. Our life in Kuwait is a life together and time apart is never something we enjoy but I love that my Hubby supports my home bird needs and is always there waiting with open arms. I’m on the home straight, straddling two homes, two lives but home is where the heart is and he’s in the desert waiting to continue our adventure.