Firstly before I get full swing into this weeks post, can I just say I’m loving this weather, hence this post being a day late! At last the rain has left us and Jersey is doing what it does best, sun, sand and 99 ice creams (that’s the style not the number I’ve consumed) . This post is coming from my mum’s garden where you will be pleased to know the desert tan is being topped up, thank goodness as I was feeling positively ghostly. So high-five for the mini heat wave and I hope all my desert gals are enjoying this window of bearable heat before their return to the fire-pit.
So back to the main reason you are all here, it’s certainly not for my local weather report. During the last week I have had the opportunity and delight to absorb myself into proper catch ups with my mates. This is one of the things I love about coming home, they are all here and it’s still touches me that they are all still eager to see me, every trip back. So I pack the diary with multiple rendezvous and on some days even fit in a couple, as I flit like a social butterfly between these special people.
You will recall from my previous post 30 something seeks how important friendships are within my expat life and that these are magnified into intense situational relationships, but this week got me thinking that I am so lucky to have a group of people who entered my life at different moments, but still make the effort and show me love when I’m back on the Rock. It’s like time has stood still and we pick up exactly where we left off, with flowing conversations, laughter, even tears and heart to hearts.
There is no effort needed, in the sense that it’s easy, no need for ice breaking small talk and gritting your teeth through a cappuccino. The banter starts from the off, I can even let myself into the house whilst they take a shower and make myself at home. The moment they appear we are off just like we did 12 months previous. I mentioned this to my bestie, over a quick coffee on her lunch break, that whilst I had been running around most of the week, I didn’t care because it didn’t feel like a chore. I can open up to these ladies, there are no loaded questions when they ask how my desert life is going, I don’t have to respond with a “correct happy expat” answer.
There is brutal honesty on both sides, no judgement, only support and a limitless amount of tea/wine.
This is when a group of women can come into their own. A positive influence, fiercely loyal and will happily be your backing singers on a drunken karaoke night. They lift me up when I am down and they empower my life choices and would tell me if they didn’t think something was right. I know that there is no topic off limits and we openly share, where we may not with others friends. There is a subliminal understanding of what the other needs, which comes with a lifetime of shared experiences.
I am always fearful that moving away could jeopardise a lot of my existing friendships at home, I would hate to ever get to the point where there are no messages eagerly awaiting my arrival and looking forward to breakfast fuelled natters. They give me that stability, even when we are miles apart, like a comfort blanket ready to envelop me upon my return. They have witnessed so many things in my life and we are each other’s advocate for lots of memories, which I truly believe comes from sharing a childhood in Jersey. It allowed us to cultivate relationships in a safe and unique place, giving us a deeper bond and this special collective experience of island life binds us as the years pass.
Beans are Beans forever
We maybe a little weird to the outside world but we share something unique
As I watch my sister, still as close to her childhood friends as I am to mine, I know I don’t have an exclusive experience, as she like many other beans feel the same way. This is a testament to our little island home and as I reflect on a week with a fabulous bunch of island friends, it dawned on me that collectively they and I share over 100 years worth of friendship. I’m glad that 45 square miles set us on the journey and will pull us back time and time again to pick up where we left off.