When doing “nothing” means everything 

Around the world people are celebrating International Woman’s Day and it’s got me thinking about how far we have come. This could be a rather controversial post, yet I sometimes feel conflicted by the pressure to be a modern woman and my lifestyle choices.

Going to an all girls school we were consistently exposed to strong women, the feared matriarchal head mistress, who lived up to the Dickensian image of a boarding school spinster, who took pride over her girls. The 6ft wooden boards noting every Head Girl in the school’s 100 years gleaming back at you in gold italics, and the Houses named after the past century’s most celebrated women; Garrett Anderson, Nightingale, Cavell, Fry and Curie. My alumni produced doctors, teachers, lawyers and artists all making their way in the world as independent women, blazing ahead.

I made my own way trying to build a career but always said I’d be ready to give it up to be a wife and raise a family. This notion was regularly frowned upon by my peers as hardly an ambition worthy of my abilities. As it turned out, this plan of mine didn’t happen and I continued to grow into my career, becoming proud of my achievements and even shocking myself at my ambition not to stand still.

When we made our move to Kuwait we decided that I would not initially work, as the transition maybe tough and I wanted to immerse myself into the expat community; see even as I write this I find myself having to justify that choice, why is it that? Why is what we “do” become who we are?

Just last week I was chatting to a fellow expat, who has decided to work after a year off, she laughed and said “it will be nice for my driving licence not to state just house wife” like it was something she was embarrassed to admit and far below her scholastic achievements. Why do women continue to put themselves and each other down? You’d never see a man say he was just anything, he’s made the choice and his male ego stands by it

I know we have come along way since the 50’s housewife, waiting patiently for her husband to gush over her culinary delights laid out on a perfectly set dinner table. However I wonder why this image is so loathed and deemed archaic. Listen, before the feminists come and drag me away, I’m not saying all of that time was right, although I would look rather fabulous in a Betty Draper style get up, but can supporting your husband and making a home be a bad thing?

By no means should women be subservient or lower to men but being feminine and enjoying predominately female activities doesn’t make me weak. I guess it makes me a little old fashioned and romantic.

Sadly when I go home and people say “what do you do out there?” family members,and even myself I’m ashamed to say, on occasion say “nothing”. I may not work but I’m not doing nothing; I’m on the other side of the world supporting my husband and we are building this new adventure together. Being a house wife is not nothing, when you do it for something and someone that means everything.

The Pramshed

21 thoughts on “When doing “nothing” means everything 

  1. We should never judge anyone for making the choices they want – we all have the right to live our lives how we want. And having a career should not define who we are and the contribution we make. None of us are doing ‘nothing’, we are all doing something, usually making someone else feel awesome x #fortheloveofBLOG


    1. Exactly! I think we get so caught up in what we think we “should” b doing rather than what we want or need. I’m happy and lucky to live the life. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment #fortheloveofBLOG

      Liked by 1 person

      1. (If it makes you feel any better, in the real world, I went back to work after baby was born and husband stayed home – and I was judged massively! 😉 x)


      2. I completely agree. It made me feel awful for a while but now I’m soooooo over it. We can do whatever we want – and we should be empowering each other x

        Liked by 1 person

  2. well said! Everyone has the right to make the right decision for them without having to be judged by others – you role of supportive wife is your decision and you should be allowed to pursue what you want to pursue! #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s funny isn’t it how we make a decision for the best of our family unit and then find ourselves having to justify it the whole time. I gave up my career when my youngest was born 13 years ago and despite many promises to myself to go back I never did. Do I regret it? Sometimes. But it was the right decision for me and our family. I am never idle and always there to support them however they need it. My parents were expats for 30 years and it is a completely different way of life. You have worked hard before. Take your time to adjust and enjoy your new life and supporting your husband. There is nothing wrong in that at all. #fortheloveofblog

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks you are so right. We do what is right for us and that’s all that matters. Expat life is different and sometimes sacrifices are made but I don’t regret this and quite enjoy being a lady of leisure 😋 Thanks for taking the time to read


  4. There is absolutely nothing wrong with supporting your husband. I only work a few hours a week in a supermarket and people seem to think that is bad as I am not “making” something of myself, but I am happy with how I am. My husband does a lot of housework when I work on a Sunday and I cook him dinner when he has had a long day. It works for us and I am not changing it because someone thinks it is not good enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good for you! I think the judgement unfortunately comes from other women and we need to support each other in the choices we make that are right for us. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment


  5. As has been said by others you just need to do what’s right for you. You aren’t being forced into a 1950’s style drudgery by anyone, you are living the way you have chosen to and want to. I personally would love to stay at home with my little boy when my maternity leave ends but I don’t think we will have the funds to do it X


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know I’m lucky to be in this position and I know it’s not forever so I’m accepting what is right for now. I know there are many like you that would love to be at home for their families.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I get this, because I work at home, and because my blog is my business, people don’t think I do anything, ever! But in fact I’m networking, pitching, scheduling and learning as well as keeping a house clean and being a mother (after school) but I am actually doing something I love and I am so proud of that. I love not having to answer to anyone else! We make a choice based on where we are in life at that moment and what is best for us at the time, it doesn’t mean we’re doing nothing. Whatever our decisions and choices we deserve celebration for our lives, for having the freedom to have a choice…I also hate that we are constantly comparing ourselves to other women and bringing ourselves or each other down, we should be so much more united. #fortheloveofblog

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well said, and you are absolutely right. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed by not working hun, moving to Kuwait must have been a huge transition for you, and it sounds like you are doing the right thing by immersing yourself into the community getting to know what’s what, meeting new people, and being supportive for your husband. It’s a shame that women are made to feel lower than their peers for not working, especially in this day and age. There is nothing wrong with not working, I’ve been on maternity leave for nearly a year, I could get used to this lifestyle, but sadly it is coming to an end in a month 😦 Thanks so much for linking up again at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x


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